Labels - Sexuality
So this is something I've wanted to talk about on my blog for a while but I was never sure when the right time to write it was. But with this being beautiful Pride Month and with Daniel Howell's video on his sexuality being released, I felt this was the right time to have a chat about something I feel very passionate about. Basically what I want to talk about today is sexuality. Specifically: Labels.
Ever since I was young I was very fortunate to have parents that accepted me for whoever I was and when it came to people I loved there was no restrictions. My mum had a friend who was gay and who I called 'Auntie Mark' and being gay was never considered bad or wrong at either my father's house or my mother's (my parents split up when I was young). I was always told I could love whoever I wanted regardless of race, looks or gender, and that is something I have now carried throughout my life. This is also why I don't put a label on my sexuality.
I think a part of this came about from hearing my friends when I grew up.
'I'm gay but I suddenly like this guy does that make me straight?'
'I usually like guys but I sort of like the look of girls but I've only dated guys so am I straight or bi?'
And so on.
I even heard this kind of thing in day to day society especially when someone transgender goes through their transition. So, for example, someone born physically a man but transitions to a woman who still likes women now goes from a straight person to a lesbian. I, personally, don't see the point in this. I don't see the need to put a label. It becomes so confusing and I've seen it also consume many people. So, I have my own personal philosophy.
I fall in love with whoever I fall in love with regardless of gender and I don't care.
Now, again, I have been told by some this is considered 'Pansexual' but, like I said, I don't see the point in labeling it. My mum has always told me 'What happens in the privacy of your own bedroom has nothing to do with anyone else' and I agree. I don't see sexuality as lots of little boxes people fit into I just think there are certain people we're all attracted to regardless of a specific gender. I hate to quote Love Island here but it's the 'My type on paper' concept. Some people have a certain look they go for e.g. tall, dark and mysterious but I think it goes deeper than that. Sometimes it's a personality trait we're attracted to, so for me I'm really attracted to people who can make me laugh. Basically, I am a woman who is more attracted to men but there have been women in my life I've been very attracted to, both on a physical and on an emotional level. But, guess what, sexuality isn't a pie chart. For example, bisexuals aren't 50/50 when it comes to liking men and women it's mixed, it's different. I do feel we've come a long way in people accepting the gay community from 50 years ago but there is still so much stigma surrounding certain aspects of peoples sexuality.
In Dan's video 'Baically I'm Gay' he said he found all the sexulaities and flags very overwhelming and I myself do to. I would like to note anyone who likes labels and identifiers are absolutely fine. I do not have an issue with it or think it's wrong I just personally like not giving people a sticker to give me and say 'Okay you fit into this category this is you'. At the end of the day as long as you are happy and comfortable in yourself that is all that matters. I'm talking about the percent of people who fret about what label or bracket they come under. Sexuality is wide and every person is different. We all have similar experiences and feelings but at the end of the day we're all unique and I think that counts for sexuality too.
This is just a little food for thought and I wondered what other people out there think too?
Do you find labels a help or hinder? Let me know in the comments on through any of my social medias @wordsofwallis.
Ever since I was young I was very fortunate to have parents that accepted me for whoever I was and when it came to people I loved there was no restrictions. My mum had a friend who was gay and who I called 'Auntie Mark' and being gay was never considered bad or wrong at either my father's house or my mother's (my parents split up when I was young). I was always told I could love whoever I wanted regardless of race, looks or gender, and that is something I have now carried throughout my life. This is also why I don't put a label on my sexuality.
I think a part of this came about from hearing my friends when I grew up.
'I'm gay but I suddenly like this guy does that make me straight?'
'I usually like guys but I sort of like the look of girls but I've only dated guys so am I straight or bi?'
And so on.
I even heard this kind of thing in day to day society especially when someone transgender goes through their transition. So, for example, someone born physically a man but transitions to a woman who still likes women now goes from a straight person to a lesbian. I, personally, don't see the point in this. I don't see the need to put a label. It becomes so confusing and I've seen it also consume many people. So, I have my own personal philosophy.
I fall in love with whoever I fall in love with regardless of gender and I don't care.
Now, again, I have been told by some this is considered 'Pansexual' but, like I said, I don't see the point in labeling it. My mum has always told me 'What happens in the privacy of your own bedroom has nothing to do with anyone else' and I agree. I don't see sexuality as lots of little boxes people fit into I just think there are certain people we're all attracted to regardless of a specific gender. I hate to quote Love Island here but it's the 'My type on paper' concept. Some people have a certain look they go for e.g. tall, dark and mysterious but I think it goes deeper than that. Sometimes it's a personality trait we're attracted to, so for me I'm really attracted to people who can make me laugh. Basically, I am a woman who is more attracted to men but there have been women in my life I've been very attracted to, both on a physical and on an emotional level. But, guess what, sexuality isn't a pie chart. For example, bisexuals aren't 50/50 when it comes to liking men and women it's mixed, it's different. I do feel we've come a long way in people accepting the gay community from 50 years ago but there is still so much stigma surrounding certain aspects of peoples sexuality.
In Dan's video 'Baically I'm Gay' he said he found all the sexulaities and flags very overwhelming and I myself do to. I would like to note anyone who likes labels and identifiers are absolutely fine. I do not have an issue with it or think it's wrong I just personally like not giving people a sticker to give me and say 'Okay you fit into this category this is you'. At the end of the day as long as you are happy and comfortable in yourself that is all that matters. I'm talking about the percent of people who fret about what label or bracket they come under. Sexuality is wide and every person is different. We all have similar experiences and feelings but at the end of the day we're all unique and I think that counts for sexuality too.
This is just a little food for thought and I wondered what other people out there think too?
Do you find labels a help or hinder? Let me know in the comments on through any of my social medias @wordsofwallis.
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