University First Year Advice
So, it's been a little while since I finished my first year of University and blimey I learnt A LOT. The term 'roller coaster' has never felt more accurate. The highs at uni were incredible and felt as though I was blasting through the atmosphere but the lows were...well...I sometimes felt like I was skimming the core of the Earth I was so down. However, it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I initially didn't want to go to uni when I left college at 16. It wasn't something that felt right for me at the time so for a few years I spent my time working full time and even did an apprenticeship. After some time though, I decided I wanted to learn about what I really wanted to do in life..writing. So, I went to uni at 20 and turned 21 during Fresher's Fortnight (which is the first 2 weeks of university where you go to parties and events to meet new people). That meant I started uni as a "mature" student (yep...so basically I'm old). This also meant I started uni with some life experience already but that didn't mean I still didn't have a lot to learn. So I would like to impart some of my wisdom for anyone who is thinking of starting University.
You get to meet new people who you'll be able to interact with throughout your first year whether they're on your course or not. I totally understand people who deal with anxiety may struggle with this but you'd be surprised how many people also struggle with anxiety. It's about finding the people who will accept that about you and not put you in any situation you don't feel comfortable with. It doesn't even have to involve going "out out" it's most about making sure you get involved in something. Even if it's just a night in with some flat mates or a quick trip down the pub or a game with some people on your course I'd urge you to do it. I met so many people through doing this and it helped me not feel so secluded before starting. On some courses you don't always get to talk or interact so having that time away from lectures or seminars really helps. Even try and see if your University has some societies you can join. Mine has a Doctor Who and Harry Potter society.
Having said all this don't put pressure on freshers just try and enjoy it. You're in a new exciting place about to study something you want to do and you can start a fresh. It may seem daunting but it can be exciting and some of my best memories are from freshers.
I have had friendships that for one reason or another didn't work out and it is sad but sometimes people don't match and you may be better suited with other people. It's very similar to relationships in that sense. What I will say is enjoy time with the people you care about.
Life is too short to be around people you don't enjoy. That doesn't mean you have to be rude to those people it just means you don't spend time with them and you focus your energy into surrounding yourself with people that do bring out the best in you. That also doesn't mean the other people are bad it just means it didn't work out.
University can be very intense when you first start and you will meet a lot of people in a short space of time. It's natural to want to like everyone and want every friendship to work out but as you get to know people months down the line you'll realise they're not what you first thought. I will not lecture you on how to deal with these situations as everyone is different just deal with it gently. It is never best to fall out with people.
I went to uni with the hope of having my first boyfriend. I was going to be surrounded by new people who I could meet and hopefully form something with. Again, that doesn't always work out.
In some cases it was because it just didn't work out but most cases I was treated poorly. Having had those experiences one of my biggest pieces of advice regardless of gender or sexual orientation or beliefs: You do not deserve to be treated badly. I once waited 4 hours for a guy to turn up to a date who kept pushing the time back only for him to cancel and THEN he used me one evening and never spoke to me again. But it was first year and I wanted a boyfriend so I was willing to be treated that way. Noooooo honey nooooo! You are worth more than that and if you're single and would like to be in a relationship don't settle for being treated like rubbish in the hope that person will change their mind.
I decided after ANOTHER GUY (who I thought was cool because he was mature and Italian) just stopped talking to me to gave up. I said enough wasting your time looking for someone and hanging around when you could be much happier focusing on your future or spending time with friends.
I was very fortunate during this time I stopped looking that I did meet my first boyfriend. It's like they say: when you stop looking that's when you find someone.
Try and just enjoy the experience rather than constantly searching. I was much happier during that time than I was when I was constantly looking over my shoulder for the next "Right Guy". You don't need "The One" to be happy. Just experience life and yes, it is nice to have someone, but being in a relationship does not define who you are as a person. I like to see my relationship as a nice add on rather than the be all and end all.
1) Don't stress about grades it's FIRST YEAR - As far as I'm aware grades in UKs first year of University do not count to your final degree. I am not saying this is a chance to slack off and just do nothing I'm telling you this is a chance to relax and not stress. Uni is a completely different ball game to college and school. It will feel harder and you're learning to live on your own and balance a social life and figure out your best methods for studying so do the work but do not stress. You just need to pass. Absolutely work your damndest but don't stress or panic.
2) If you are stressed talk to your tutor - I don't know about all Unis but within my uni we all have a personal tutor. This is someone who you can go to when there are any problems about your course or if there are any problems and you don't know how to resolve them. If you are struggling whether that's with the course itself or your mental health or living situations (to name a few) I urge you to talk to them. Even if they can't help directly they can put you in contact with someone who can. Don't feel alone.
3) Talk to people on your course - Regardless of whether it's on a friend basis or just an acquaintance being in contact with people on your course is vital. We have a very large group chat for my course and that's where people can ask questions or check information and with so many you can get a more accurate answer. Also having perhaps a close friend on the course means you can talk about any worries and see if they have them too or you can work together. I found this really helped for me.
Those are my main pieces of advise for anyone attending their first year of University or thinking about it. If this blog has helped you in anyway please let me know and feel free to send things you also may need advice in as I can always write another blog!
I initially didn't want to go to uni when I left college at 16. It wasn't something that felt right for me at the time so for a few years I spent my time working full time and even did an apprenticeship. After some time though, I decided I wanted to learn about what I really wanted to do in life..writing. So, I went to uni at 20 and turned 21 during Fresher's Fortnight (which is the first 2 weeks of university where you go to parties and events to meet new people). That meant I started uni as a "mature" student (yep...so basically I'm old). This also meant I started uni with some life experience already but that didn't mean I still didn't have a lot to learn. So I would like to impart some of my wisdom for anyone who is thinking of starting University.
FRESHERS
I need to make something very clear: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DRINK TO ENJOY FRESHERS. I won't lie there is a big drinking culture that surrounds Freshers but don't feel you HAVE to drink. I say this because some people don't like to go out with fear they'll be pressured to drink and I wanted to make this point because I personally feel Freshers is vital.You get to meet new people who you'll be able to interact with throughout your first year whether they're on your course or not. I totally understand people who deal with anxiety may struggle with this but you'd be surprised how many people also struggle with anxiety. It's about finding the people who will accept that about you and not put you in any situation you don't feel comfortable with. It doesn't even have to involve going "out out" it's most about making sure you get involved in something. Even if it's just a night in with some flat mates or a quick trip down the pub or a game with some people on your course I'd urge you to do it. I met so many people through doing this and it helped me not feel so secluded before starting. On some courses you don't always get to talk or interact so having that time away from lectures or seminars really helps. Even try and see if your University has some societies you can join. Mine has a Doctor Who and Harry Potter society.
Having said all this don't put pressure on freshers just try and enjoy it. You're in a new exciting place about to study something you want to do and you can start a fresh. It may seem daunting but it can be exciting and some of my best memories are from freshers.
FRIENDSHIP
Now this is a strange one so I hope I make sense. The simply way to start is by saying: You are not going to like everyone and not everyone is going to like you. And guess what...that's okay.I have had friendships that for one reason or another didn't work out and it is sad but sometimes people don't match and you may be better suited with other people. It's very similar to relationships in that sense. What I will say is enjoy time with the people you care about.
Life is too short to be around people you don't enjoy. That doesn't mean you have to be rude to those people it just means you don't spend time with them and you focus your energy into surrounding yourself with people that do bring out the best in you. That also doesn't mean the other people are bad it just means it didn't work out.
University can be very intense when you first start and you will meet a lot of people in a short space of time. It's natural to want to like everyone and want every friendship to work out but as you get to know people months down the line you'll realise they're not what you first thought. I will not lecture you on how to deal with these situations as everyone is different just deal with it gently. It is never best to fall out with people.
RELATIONSHIPS
I don't want to go into toooo much detail about my romantic experiences in first year but I will speak briefly.I went to uni with the hope of having my first boyfriend. I was going to be surrounded by new people who I could meet and hopefully form something with. Again, that doesn't always work out.
In some cases it was because it just didn't work out but most cases I was treated poorly. Having had those experiences one of my biggest pieces of advice regardless of gender or sexual orientation or beliefs: You do not deserve to be treated badly. I once waited 4 hours for a guy to turn up to a date who kept pushing the time back only for him to cancel and THEN he used me one evening and never spoke to me again. But it was first year and I wanted a boyfriend so I was willing to be treated that way. Noooooo honey nooooo! You are worth more than that and if you're single and would like to be in a relationship don't settle for being treated like rubbish in the hope that person will change their mind.
I decided after ANOTHER GUY (who I thought was cool because he was mature and Italian) just stopped talking to me to gave up. I said enough wasting your time looking for someone and hanging around when you could be much happier focusing on your future or spending time with friends.
I was very fortunate during this time I stopped looking that I did meet my first boyfriend. It's like they say: when you stop looking that's when you find someone.
Try and just enjoy the experience rather than constantly searching. I was much happier during that time than I was when I was constantly looking over my shoulder for the next "Right Guy". You don't need "The One" to be happy. Just experience life and yes, it is nice to have someone, but being in a relationship does not define who you are as a person. I like to see my relationship as a nice add on rather than the be all and end all.
THE COURSE
I'm not going to sit here and preach about always doing your work on time or always attending lectures because we all know we're supposed to do that but I will advise you of the following:1) Don't stress about grades it's FIRST YEAR - As far as I'm aware grades in UKs first year of University do not count to your final degree. I am not saying this is a chance to slack off and just do nothing I'm telling you this is a chance to relax and not stress. Uni is a completely different ball game to college and school. It will feel harder and you're learning to live on your own and balance a social life and figure out your best methods for studying so do the work but do not stress. You just need to pass. Absolutely work your damndest but don't stress or panic.
2) If you are stressed talk to your tutor - I don't know about all Unis but within my uni we all have a personal tutor. This is someone who you can go to when there are any problems about your course or if there are any problems and you don't know how to resolve them. If you are struggling whether that's with the course itself or your mental health or living situations (to name a few) I urge you to talk to them. Even if they can't help directly they can put you in contact with someone who can. Don't feel alone.
3) Talk to people on your course - Regardless of whether it's on a friend basis or just an acquaintance being in contact with people on your course is vital. We have a very large group chat for my course and that's where people can ask questions or check information and with so many you can get a more accurate answer. Also having perhaps a close friend on the course means you can talk about any worries and see if they have them too or you can work together. I found this really helped for me.
Those are my main pieces of advise for anyone attending their first year of University or thinking about it. If this blog has helped you in anyway please let me know and feel free to send things you also may need advice in as I can always write another blog!
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